Jeff's Stuff

Last night my wife and I went to see Le Nozze di Figaro at the Met. Not being much of an opera fan, I was enticed (read: bribed) into going with the promise of dinner at Aquavit. I have to say that both the dinner and the Opera were very enjoyable. However, neither the food nor the singing are the reason for this blog entry. Rather, three unusual events occurred during the course of the evening, and they are what compels me to write this morning.

It is not often that my wife, often very reserved, has to put her hand over her mouth to avoid laughing hysterically in public. But, when the woman at the next table managed somehow to set her sleeve on fire, that is exactly what happened. The woman's sweater, which from where I was sitting appeared to be rabbit, not only burned quite brightly and dramatically but also gave off an acrid smell of burning hair (hare?) which could be smelled throughout the restaurant.

The part where I began to laugh was when the woman was heard to say, "oh, I'm always setting myself on fire!"it was about this time when the waitstaff began to congregate behind me and, they could be heard pondering what to do about the situation. While the woman had promptly extinguished her sleeve, many patrons who had not seen the event could smell the odor and were probably concerned.

After a wonderful meal at Aquavit, we made our way over to Lincoln Center. Everything was going fine until the second act. This is when one of the characters onstage, who was supposed to be upset, knocked several items off the table. One of these objects (I could not tell what it was) struck a cellist in the head!

While the woman continued playing for a minute or two, she appeared to be rubbing her head frequently. Several minutes later when I looked back, she was gone. Apparently she did return after the intermission but only for a moment and was not seen for the rest of the performance.

The thing that I found most interesting about this was the fact that a large number of people (presumably those people that actually saw what happened) laughed hysterically. Something tells me that the cellist didn't think it so funny.

Finally the last oddity of the evening I found more disgusting than humorous. When paying for parking, a man who collected my money and was making change was having trouble separating bills. Instead of using a sponge and water, or even licking his fingers, he chose to spit on the bills. Each time he did it, and yes, he did it more than once, a huge blob of spittle landed on the bills. Needless to say, the first thing I did upon getting in the car was to wash my hands with about a quart of hand sanitizer!

So, the opera was entertaining. The meal was very tasty. The service was excellent. And still, the things I will remember from evening have nothing to do with the food nor the singing.