Jeff's Stuff

Today, I just want to share with you a couple signs that I just don't understand. Well, I think I know what they mean but still, there is reason to pause... and wonder!

This first image was taken at Dorney Park in Allentown, PA. I shot it this summer while visiting with my son. While my son was riding some contraption designed to approximate the effect of an eggbeater on the human body, I being bored out of my mind, decided to read this sign. I never dreamed that it would be interesting, much less interesting enough to write about.

It wasn't until I got most of the way through reading the sign that I began to panic:

All I want to know is, what is a "Lap Bear" exactly? Is this some large mammal that you put on your lap during the ride? What does one feed a lap bear? Well, the answer to that is simple. If you are riding, I'm guessing you, are the food!

The other sign I saw is one that just, to my twisted mind, should have been re-written. It, unlike the first sign, is not a misprint. It is however arguably, a poor choice of words.

But honey, I'm going as fast as I can already!

I know we live in a fast paced society. We have speed-reading, and SpeedStick. We have instant pudding and fast-food. Now, I have heard of "speed-dating" but once you find someone, couldn't you use some of the time you saved by speed-dating, to have sex at a normal rate of speed? I wonder, do you think speed-humping will ever become an Olympic sport?